feeling old

I know I'm not old, I'm 28. but with the idea of a class reunion looming ahead I can't help but think about how things were 10 years ago.

One of my guilty pleasures is watching Dawson's Creek. There I said it. I like Dawson's Creek, and it's quite pathetic really. If there was a Dawson's Trivial Pursuit I'd win the game. every time no doubt. I'm not sure why I like it so much. I'd like to think it's because it's supposed to be set on the cape where I grew up, only I know that's not the case-- it doesn't look anything like the cape we have here in MA, but more like what things would look like if set in NC.. becuse that's wehre it was filmed. Maybe it's because I think that I'd be friends with the characters in the show. I had many groups of friends from the outcasts to the nerds to the AV gang. Or maybe it's because I really <3 Pacey Whitter.
The episode this week, which I am able to watch thanks to my DVR because it airs at 4:30 am) was about how Joey and Pacey have to find a way to tell Dawson about how they've been seeing each other. In the end Dawson gives Joey an ultimatum to choose, him or Pacey, and she says to Pacey that it has to end. It was quite sad really. and I'm sure my PMS stricken mood swing wasn't helping either. The only thing keeping it together for me was teh fact that I knew that in the end her and Pacey end up together shortly after and at the end of the series we find out they are married.
In the episodes leading up to the previous on we see Pacey pining over Joey, in sweet subtle ways, that Joey was oblivious to. But you could see the look in his eyes, how he cared about her.

The reason for putting you through that torturous recap is that it made me think about when I was in school back in the 'Ham. My Senior year (and part of junior year) was an odd year for me. For the first time in my entire youth people stopped making fun of me.
Middle school was a painful time for me where I was in the class with all the trouble makers, and it sucked they bullied me (and the history sub!) and threw gum in my hair on a daily basis. The teachers didn't see it, but I dreaded going to school. Then I got to high school where many of the culprits from 8th grade ventured over to Upper Cape (thank god!) yet I was still constantly being called named and being picked on. When I became good friends with Ginny Walton, it subdued, aminly because these jerk off boys (richey roomey and charles rider mostly- they alwasy chewed dip it was gross) were, I think indimidated by her. She became one of my best friends. (I miss her even now and have b een trying to locate her since I went to college with no luck- anyone know where she is?)
With her by my side I began to gain some confidence, and hold my own. I think a turning point was in Deb Hodgson's english class- eitheer 10th or 11th grade I can't rememeber, I flipped out on either Richie or Chuck, and everyone was sho shocked to see little sweet me yell at them that from that point name calling ceased for the most part except the proverbial "albino, albs" which became a nick name and "powder" from Ginny's mom.
So when it came to dating boys it came all of a sudden in my later high school years, I had many boys wanting to date me.. I didn't realize quite how many until many years later.. it was weird and I didn't know how to handle it. I did know that I didn't date younger guys. For I didn't want to create any reason to be made fun of by my classmates that I loathed. Too bad I was dating someone who was going to school in Georgia.. During senior year he decided to see someone else as well while he was home. So while at first I remained loyal, I got sick of his need to be with someone else, and I "lashed out" and started seeing other guys. Many of which weren't serious by any means and lasted a short period of time.
There are a couple of people from that time that I wonder where they are now what things they are up to, but they won't be at the reunion for they were in different grades. Don't get me wrong, I am absolutly happy with my family now and all that is going on. Even on those tough days, in the end I'm happy.

There are many people who I'm dying to see to see how they've been, and hell I'll prob even say hi to Richie and Chuck, because I'm polite, but prob won't say much beyond that. I can't wait to show off my family.

I remember--
Mr. Potatohead can make a good bong- only if taped up properly.
Shh.. Keep it on the DL.
"123" - the greatest number of times Ginny and I hit the badmitton birdie back and forth without it hitting the ground.
The day Jared got in a serious car accident and nearly died.
Dwayne beating me to get the Drum Major title and I was devastated. It was supposed to be me and Kevin! we had it planned..
1,2,3 Drums!- the chant we used to say before performances.
Making the video for Mr. Pelkey after he left us under the rule of Shawn St. pierre. I wonder if he still watches it on occasion? I know he's alive he called my sister last month!
Always having to have extra drum sticks on hand in all games and especially parades because the Melissa's and I couldn't seem to keep a hold on them.
Colorguard- and the great shape it kept me in! how is Ruth anyway?
Missing the Nerd Herd Skip day because I had an English final to take- most of the others were in AP but I was in Honors with Mr. Wilson.
Our class didn't have a skip day/trip thanks to those who ventured to canada to get drunk and tattooed. way to go guys.

I have a very clear memoryof high school compared to the last few years. it's very odd.