I'm old and young at the same time, I guess

Alot of the time I feel like I have "old" moments such as forgetting stuff, getting confused easily, making references to culture in my youth and today's young folk have no idea what I'm talking about and have a child turn 10. Then there is the fact Soleil Moon Frye, aka: Punky Brewster, who I know is older than me has children the same age as mine! She's not a peer- She's a role model dammit! or something like that.. It's weird. Also I find men in their 40's attractive such as here, here & here. Sure sign of being old if you ask me. Also such expenditures such as student loans, car payments & mortgages... I can keep adding to the list.

But I'm not old. I'm a mere 33. Still young to most. When people find out my age they say, "oh, you're just a baby!" Thus, whenever I get the chance to say it to someone younger than me, I do too. I really don't like it when they say it to me, b/c I'm in my 30's for crying out loud. Not. A. Baby.

Anyway, I have been finding out recently though, that many other moms who have children in the same age group or younger than mine are 10 years older (or more!) than myself, and I think they are the same age as me. They talk about things they did in 1990 that surprise me, because that year, I was in the 5th grade and 10 years old. This is when I start to feel weird about being a "young mom" because to me, I'm not a young mom, I'm average. My mother was a young mom, and my best friend growing up was even a younger mom at 16 and her mom a grandmother at 32 or something totally crazy young to be a grandmother, seeing as some women don't even start to have babies until their mid-30's. Having a baby in your 40's is an odd thought for me, but very real and often very much desired with some people.

All I know is that when these older moms will be dealing with potty training and the prospects of children hitting puberty, my kids will be old enough to say, "Adios boys, mama is going on a vacation! Don't burn down the house!" Having children when you are on the younger side of the life spectrum is often shunned, but I am thankful I had babies in my younger, more energy filled days where my health is good and I'm not relying on social security just yet.

There are pros & cons to parenting in each age group, but for me, I'm happy about where I am.

that "certain age" where your body says F-U

I have been in my 30's now for a couple years and it has been a pretty good run thus far. I don't know why people get so bent out of shape when they turn 30. It's pretty much the same as 29 only different in the sense  of how 29 is different from 28, etc...

I have noticed in the past couple years I suffer from PMS like I never had before. I still get confused by it. Why can I be an instant bitch with zero tolerence, and go into full on must-clean-the-entire-house-while consuming-all-the-chinese-food-and-pizza-in-this-town, 6 hours later. I don't get it....and then I get a headache that I suffer through for a few hours before I realize I can take tylenol for that. Also, what's with the acne moving from my face to my neck? wtf ya'll?

The most recent thing I'm trying to figure out is my love/hate relationship with caffeine.

Here's how  it used to be:
I'm 20 and I can drink all the caffeine I want and still fall asleep at a reasonable hour!
I'm 30 and I can't drink caffeine after 3 otherwise I am up half the night!
I'm 32.5 and I can't drink caffeine after noon otherwise I am up half the night!

That's right folks, I have had insomnia for the last 6+ months or so hit or miss, but sometimes running for several weeks at a time. I think figured out that it's related to my caffeine intake. Now let me just clarify and say that I don't drink obscene amounts of caffeine. An "average" day I would drink a normal size cup -16oz in the morning and sometimes some soda for lunch or at dinner time. Rarely did I drink it all three times, and sometimes, I'd only have my morning cup worth, if at all. so in the last several weeks, maybe a month or so now, I have given up ALL but my morning cup of coffee for caffeine. I have also stopped caffeinated soda as part of the "my body has become sensitive to caffeine" testing trial.(with the exception of this past weekend at my sisters b/c my sleeping got all out of whack anyway- I needed the boost)

Since I have given up the other doses of caffeine I have been falling asleep around or atleast tired enough for sleep around 10/11pm which is waaaay better than the 12:30/1am I have been accustomed to for the last year atleast... especially when one's alarm goes off at 6am to get the rugrats and herself to school and work and make lunch and shower all before we try to leave the house at 7:30 to drop the kids at school. It's no easy feat on a good nights sleep, never mind chronically only getting 5-6 hours of sleep. Trying to catch up on missed sleep on the weekend always ended up in insomnia again by monday because it's like I moved to LA and shifted my sleep schedule by three hours.

I digress, cutting back the caffeine has helped significantly in terms of ability to fall asleep. I however still drag during some afternoons and get into a zombie like state, which isn't good when I'm driving and the whole reason why I would have the afternoon boost. This hasn't happened recently or often or while driving so that's okay I guess.

Tonight though, I am tired.. as in it's only 8 'clock and I could fall asleep right now, but instead my kids are going crazy and I'm Skyping with my sister, tired.