I'm old and young at the same time, I guess

Alot of the time I feel like I have "old" moments such as forgetting stuff, getting confused easily, making references to culture in my youth and today's young folk have no idea what I'm talking about and have a child turn 10. Then there is the fact Soleil Moon Frye, aka: Punky Brewster, who I know is older than me has children the same age as mine! She's not a peer- She's a role model dammit! or something like that.. It's weird. Also I find men in their 40's attractive such as here, here & here. Sure sign of being old if you ask me. Also such expenditures such as student loans, car payments & mortgages... I can keep adding to the list.

But I'm not old. I'm a mere 33. Still young to most. When people find out my age they say, "oh, you're just a baby!" Thus, whenever I get the chance to say it to someone younger than me, I do too. I really don't like it when they say it to me, b/c I'm in my 30's for crying out loud. Not. A. Baby.

Anyway, I have been finding out recently though, that many other moms who have children in the same age group or younger than mine are 10 years older (or more!) than myself, and I think they are the same age as me. They talk about things they did in 1990 that surprise me, because that year, I was in the 5th grade and 10 years old. This is when I start to feel weird about being a "young mom" because to me, I'm not a young mom, I'm average. My mother was a young mom, and my best friend growing up was even a younger mom at 16 and her mom a grandmother at 32 or something totally crazy young to be a grandmother, seeing as some women don't even start to have babies until their mid-30's. Having a baby in your 40's is an odd thought for me, but very real and often very much desired with some people.

All I know is that when these older moms will be dealing with potty training and the prospects of children hitting puberty, my kids will be old enough to say, "Adios boys, mama is going on a vacation! Don't burn down the house!" Having children when you are on the younger side of the life spectrum is often shunned, but I am thankful I had babies in my younger, more energy filled days where my health is good and I'm not relying on social security just yet.

There are pros & cons to parenting in each age group, but for me, I'm happy about where I am.

Chronically behind the times

It all started when I was a kid in the 80's. We didn't have a lot of money, by any stretch of the means so we often relied on hand me downs from clothes to video games.

We got our first system, an Atari with games from my cousins, when they got the all new Nintendo Entertainment System .

I loved the Atari- my favorite game was Donkey Kong, and also Big Birds Egg Catch. Give me a break guys I was like 6 or 7 when we got it, so it's totally cool you guys. Then when the SNES came out WE inherited the NES.. HOT DOG! That was loads of fun! It also started my mother's addiction to Dr. Mario and the Zelda franchise... It's possible we didn't inherit theirs but got our own, but I don't think so. My mom began this great task of creating her own maps of levels and How-to guides for MANY games. I bet she still has them somewhere too. Many countless hours were played in Dr. Mario on Level 25 (the highest possible level) as it was her downtime. Sidenote: Mom also played using her 1st 2 fingers with her right hand instead of her thumb.

At some point, we acquired the Super Nintendo and we were always a bit behind of everyone else. Even now, I never owned a game cube, and got the Wii like 2 years after it came out and an XBOX360 about a year after that. I am never on the cutting edge of technology. 

Same thing with fashion. I am not sure what triggered my delay in fashion tastes, but I think it's partly because as a mother, my needs always come last last, and by the time I have the money and opportunity to purchase clothing for myself, the styles I liked I can't find. They have come and gone. It's not like I wear anything fancy either. I wear simple stuff cotton shirts and jeans. Now I have a hard time buying stuff because it doesn't fit right. I am wider in areas than I'd like to be, so even if the waste fits, other areas don't fit and my feet are big & wide so as much as I like shoes, I hate shoe shopping- it's very hard to find something that both fits comfortably and the right style for the occasion. It's awful. I think i'd rather get a tooth pulled than shoe shop all the time.

Even my nerd culture is behind the times. My husband has been a fan of Doctor Who

for a very long time and has been trying to get me to watch it for.... pretty much as long as we started dating, and I never did. It was cheesy old British television that I didn't care for. Even when the reboot came out. I didn't get it. I just didn't. It was weird any full of sci-fi stuff I wasn't really into in my twenties. Thie past couple seasons of Matt Smith as the Doctor, got me hooked. I don't know why. I think even though the fans were upset that Tennat was leaving and smith was controversial, I really enjoy his portrayal of the Doctor. Now we are on the cusp of the 50th anniversary of the series. It's coming out in mere DAYS. As a result I have been binge watching Doctor Who (reboot) all fall and watched 4 episodes last night alone o.O . I am at the point where the doctor changes from Tennant to Smith. Even if I can't finish before the special comes out that's okay. I have seen the majority of the episodes with Smith. I have thoroughly enjoyed the timey-wimey adventure the most current doctors and companions.

Also I was late to Twitter, and love it now, and late to Firefly- I became a fan when it came to DVD and didn't even know about it when it was on television. Star Trek, I don't mind. I'm not a big fan of it, but thanks to my husbands escapades of binge watching ALL of the different versions of that series, I don't mind it. He watches so much though, often I just don't want to watch it at all.

The list of things just goes on. What say you, internet? Please tell me I'm not alone!

Never thought I be so happy to look in my rear view

I have this friend. Had this friend. She's still alive, but I don't see her anymore. It was not my decision to have that be the case. I met her as she was my neighbor for a few years and we became friends quickly as our sons loved to play with each other. I considered her my best friend and felt like I could confide in her in about anything.

We had been close for quite some time, and she is a person attracts not the best men. One particular boyfriend of hers was verbally abusive. While he was staying with her she came down with the swine flu, and after she got somewhat better she realized she needed to leave this guy and called her ex husband to see if he could take care of their son while she was trying to get into a better situation. Long story short, her ex husband decided to not return her son back to her. She ended up moving to Texas to be near them. She had asked me to give her a ride to the airport in the morning and when I stopped by her place she wasn't there. There was no sign of her and I was really upset. I didn't get to say goodbye. I went home and cried int he driveway. She was in Texas for 2 years we kept in touch fairly frequently. Her ex was being an ass and canceling her visits with her son and brainwashing him into thinking the worst of her.

Eventually her ex made it so difficult for her to even talk with her son on the phone let alone have a visit, she left and came back north after 2 years of trying.

We reconnected and were hanging out again and all was well. Sort of. She still attracted weirdos, but whatever, She came onto hard times for a couple of different things, and I was severely worried about her. One thing that is consistent with is that when things get tough, she shuts down and becomes depressed. As a friend I am there for her and to help her.

Well, why am I talking so much about her? Well, she stopped talking to me and wasn't returning my calls or texts. Wait that sounded like I was non stop harassing this person. I wasn't. I was reaching out to her a couple times in a week. I was so worried that one day after work I knocked on her door, she answered and simply said that she didn't want company right now. That's fine. I asked her is she was okay. She said she was and then pretty much shooed me away and shut the door. That was a year ago this fall. Since then I have tried to reach out to her only a few times, one of those times was an email to wish her a happy birthday, and that was all.

I was confused, sad & angry and felt lost. I seemed to have lost my best friend for a reason that I did not know. It really bothered me and I just couldn't shake the feeling of being hurt for unknown reasons. If there was some sort of fight or disagreement atleast there would be an obvious reason.

Then came Thanksgiving. We decided to try and host Thanksgiving at our house for a change. To be at a location comfortable for our kids. A dinner where I could have some leftovers. Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. It is completely family centered. Thanksgiving for me is being able to spend time with the extended family enjoy a meal relax and have fun. As a kid I loved being able to spend time with my cousins, especially the years when my log distance cousins were there.

So we invited people over and not a single person wanted/could to come. Not. A. Single. One. "We're going to so & so's", "we're gonna eat at home", "I need to feed the hunters", "I don't have a ride", "I have to work". So that was disappointing, but I made the best of it. I made a full on turkey dinner. We ate at the table! Which if you know us, know that this doesn't happen as often as I like. So I made this big wonderful dinner for my family, and then they hardly ate. "I don't like turkey", "I'm not that hungry", "I don't want gravy", "yuck, pie!" (whose kids are these?!)

And after that I was just in a chronic shitty mood. I didn't want anything to do with Christmas and the New Year couldn't come fast enough.

I can't remember when I came out of it, some time around the transition into spring? I don't know

Anyway,

I'm posting this because the other morning, my friend was behind me at a red light near my son's school and it just made me happy to see her knowing that she is still around and appears to be doing well as I have been wondering how she has been doing.

that "certain age" where your body says F-U

I have been in my 30's now for a couple years and it has been a pretty good run thus far. I don't know why people get so bent out of shape when they turn 30. It's pretty much the same as 29 only different in the sense  of how 29 is different from 28, etc...

I have noticed in the past couple years I suffer from PMS like I never had before. I still get confused by it. Why can I be an instant bitch with zero tolerence, and go into full on must-clean-the-entire-house-while consuming-all-the-chinese-food-and-pizza-in-this-town, 6 hours later. I don't get it....and then I get a headache that I suffer through for a few hours before I realize I can take tylenol for that. Also, what's with the acne moving from my face to my neck? wtf ya'll?

The most recent thing I'm trying to figure out is my love/hate relationship with caffeine.

Here's how  it used to be:
I'm 20 and I can drink all the caffeine I want and still fall asleep at a reasonable hour!
I'm 30 and I can't drink caffeine after 3 otherwise I am up half the night!
I'm 32.5 and I can't drink caffeine after noon otherwise I am up half the night!

That's right folks, I have had insomnia for the last 6+ months or so hit or miss, but sometimes running for several weeks at a time. I think figured out that it's related to my caffeine intake. Now let me just clarify and say that I don't drink obscene amounts of caffeine. An "average" day I would drink a normal size cup -16oz in the morning and sometimes some soda for lunch or at dinner time. Rarely did I drink it all three times, and sometimes, I'd only have my morning cup worth, if at all. so in the last several weeks, maybe a month or so now, I have given up ALL but my morning cup of coffee for caffeine. I have also stopped caffeinated soda as part of the "my body has become sensitive to caffeine" testing trial.(with the exception of this past weekend at my sisters b/c my sleeping got all out of whack anyway- I needed the boost)

Since I have given up the other doses of caffeine I have been falling asleep around or atleast tired enough for sleep around 10/11pm which is waaaay better than the 12:30/1am I have been accustomed to for the last year atleast... especially when one's alarm goes off at 6am to get the rugrats and herself to school and work and make lunch and shower all before we try to leave the house at 7:30 to drop the kids at school. It's no easy feat on a good nights sleep, never mind chronically only getting 5-6 hours of sleep. Trying to catch up on missed sleep on the weekend always ended up in insomnia again by monday because it's like I moved to LA and shifted my sleep schedule by three hours.

I digress, cutting back the caffeine has helped significantly in terms of ability to fall asleep. I however still drag during some afternoons and get into a zombie like state, which isn't good when I'm driving and the whole reason why I would have the afternoon boost. This hasn't happened recently or often or while driving so that's okay I guess.

Tonight though, I am tired.. as in it's only 8 'clock and I could fall asleep right now, but instead my kids are going crazy and I'm Skyping with my sister, tired.

It's winter break time ya'll

So I went to hang with the homegirls for a few days with the rugrats... and it snowed.. again... just a few days after they had just gotten their power back on after it being out for 4 days. No snow at home. Such is life in New England.

A good time was had while at our stay. Hotel HoJo was very welcoming!. Breakfast and coffee was provided, as was entertainment and booze should be we need it. (Don't get your hopes up, there were no strippers, unless you count the kids running around in their skivvies.) There was even a party full of yummy gluten free food in hopes of my sister being able to get more stuff for FREE!!! Wheee! free stuff, who doesn't like free stuff AND my company?? That's what I thought.

When I came into town a few weeks back it was a *really* quick trip, as the sole purpose was for work and I babysat in exchange for room and board and was out the door shortly after lunch to head to the Pampered Chef party. It was nice spending time with my nephews in a completely different dynamic than when my kids are there and it's pretty chaotic and loud the whole time, just like it was this past weekend. On Saturday we got to visit with mom for a bit before she had to head off to work. Due to her work schedule we don't get to visit as much as we'd like and not nearly as I would like, but we make do with what we can, when we can.

On Sunday the big party day, we had to shovel the street and driveway so people would have a place to park. Stupid snow. Only a brave couple came to the party, but a good time was had by all! On Monday i went to the store grabbed fixins' for breakfast, grabbed a friend and went back so we could feast on breakfast! and after the brother-in-law got home from doing some work, we went sledding on the bluffs for a quick hour before we left for home. While sledding we rain into my friends son sledding with some friends, how's that for coincidence, eh?

We all had a fun time! Here are some pictures of our time back in the 'ham. Also there was this weird nose and glasses that kept finding it's way onto our faces. You've been warned.

   

Stealth trip to the stomping grounds

I made a stealth trip to my old stomping grounds last weekend to do a Pampered Chef party at one of my oldest friends' parents house in the nearby town of Freetown. I didn't even bring the kids, or tell mom (it wasn't personal- I'll be back in a few weeks!) because the trip was going to be so quick Because it's a long enough drive I didn't want to do there and back in one day I surprised my nephews and watched them for my sis in exchange for free room and board for the night. Her friend stopped by and kept me company and when the sis got home we hung out til 1 or so playing goofy ringtones on our phones and relaxing. The next morning I talked my sis into going for a walk because it looked gorgeous out and I wanted to take pictures before I left just after lunch. Come to find out, the wind chill was brutal, so I took only 2 early in on our trek, and we looped around by my old school onto the main drag and back to the house where we promptly blew our noses because neither of us thought to bring tissues.. Team Blonde FTW! Anyway, here are a few pictures from my stay. They were all taken with my phone.

The view I saw every ding dong day growing up. It's also the view my mom still sees.

Do you see how the ocean has ICE? yeah it was *that* cold. Also when I was a kid I got a rash from swimming here

Showing my nephew a fun feature of my phone! moving photos!

We were practicing his math, and I taught him some old  "pager-talk" like: 07734 flip it upside down and it says "hello" he thought it was the greatest thing since sliced bread

BIL and I played a game with the kids.  I think B was thinking here!

This was funny. J had the bright idea to "butt brawl" . You can't tell but they were  hitting each other with their butts

here they are being cute :)

Boy am I glad that's over with

And by that I mean "The Holidays" which means the holiday Trifecta from Hell: Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Years. ::breathe::

Thanksgiving is normally my most favorite holiday. In my youth we used to travel an hour to my grandmother's where, depending on if it was the year the alternating branches of the clan were there or not, we would all get together (sometimes 25+ people I think) and hang out and the cousins would go run amok and play and have a grand ol' time while the adults did... something.... and we had and prayed for  Eddie Jones to have the bones, because he don't eat no meat, said what we were thankful for and dug in to a glorious meal. My favorite part was the dish of little onions, and EVERYONE was sent home with leftovers.  For the last several years we haven't been able to get together with my half the family for Thanksgiving even though the goal is to do the every other year thing. Our rotation got off and we haven't been able to get it back for one reason or another.

Our tree just after Santa delivered. He says Hi.

This year we thought, for a change, we'd offer to host Thanksgiving at our house. Normally when we spend the holidays with the hubster's side we go to his aunt and uncles with his parents, grandparents and a cousin (the aunt and uncle's son and gf who are in the area). It's usually a pleasant time, but seeing as how I make my own turkey dinner anyway as a result of not being able to take leftovers we thought the change would be welcomed. Well when we invited people, no one wanted to come :( and so I made turkey dinner just for us. For my two kids and husband turkey dinner is not a favorite meal, so they didn't really eat much of it. I got all the leftovers I needed to keep the yummy part of the day lingering for several more, but the day was unsatisfying without the extended family. So my Thanksgiving was pretty "meh" and put me in this weird funk where I didn't really care about upcoming Christmas and decorating, or anything really family oriented. This has never really happened before. 

Christmas break was good. I went into work a couple days, and thanks to university negotiations with the holiday schedule, I now get the 2 work days prior to New Year's off (instead of Evacuation & Bunker Hill Day) . I ended up working on Friday but not Monday or Tuesday and ended up with a 4-day weekend!

auto setting with flash

With my money I earned from Pamered Chef I went out and bought myself the new phone I have been wanting! yay! Aaaaaaaand. I love it. One thing that is awesome is that the touch screen works wearing gloves (yahoo!) and the camera just rocks. The the left you will see 2 photos. They were taken about 9pm at night back to back looking at the same thing. the bottom picture was taken in it's "night" setting and the the top was taken using just the flash on auto. 

This phone really touted the low light picture taking functionalitly and dog-nab it, it works wonderfully. And boy oh boy did I miss that little camera button on the side of the phone. Having to tap the screen to take a picture sucks donkey balls. I don't ever want to have to do that again. 

Night Setting!

I took the kiddos sledding and had a grand ol' time on the hill at the kids' former preschool. We also went one day to the town's favorite sledding area near the hospital and I will never take them there again! It was chaos city.

Growing up we had some pretty basic common sense rules for sledding:

1. Wait until the person at the bottom of the path moves out of the way before heading down,

2. Don't walk up the path to return to the top, walk off to the side

and a couple others which were applied based on the path used for sledding: 

3. If your path exits you into the street do not sled without a minimum 2 spotters at the bottom of the hill to check for traffic,

4. roll off the sled before you crash into the tree

sledding at the preschool!

While rules 3 &4 didn't apply here, rules 1&2 certainly did, and NO ONE was following them. I was freaking. out. The hill was high and steep (it was an old toboggan run that used to have a different path to get to the top, no longer in use), the snow was as hard and slippery as a sheet of ice, and there were a ton of people. There is also a bunny slope off the parking area where Liam was going down on the neighbors slow sled. He was fine. 

People were flying down this hill without a care in the world. Everyone was returning to the top walking in the path of the other sledders. big adult types were way at the tippy top waiting for the path to clear "enough" so they can zip down without "hopefully" wiping anyone out on the way down. I watched one teen head down from one of the mid point launch areas and wipe out an adult man and is 2-3 year old child. They were stupidly just standing there in the middle of the sledding area and then the teen didn't even go and apologize to the guy and instead ran off to mommy who was sitting in her car and wasn't watching watching.. all sorts of effed-upness going on here and I was NOT happy about it. we left shortly after and heading to the preschool for a few until we realized the temps dropped and we were soooo cold... On the way back from that sledding trip I told them that I would never take them there again because it was too dangerous and I was really anxious about it because someone is going to get seriously injured there. They said okay without a fight. I think they thought it was scary too.

Now that it's a new year and the Holidaze are long gone, I can get back to normal. yay! My hope is that in the next month I can get my mother her belated birthday present that is now just about 2 months overdue. *sigh*