Wednesday, February 1, 2006

what is the world coming to?

i got this in my work email the other day.... this isn't a joke, but it's hilarious. see i work for Umass, aka "ZooMass" and the one thing you have to understand about umass is that no matter how much they try and clean up the image of the party school, it will always be a party school... but this also depends on where you live on campus... me? i lived in the hippie section... lol.. not b/c i'm a hippie, far from it, but i requested a dorm with "high speed internet" (which at the time there were only a handful) and i got placed in the smallest dorm on campus, Brooks... it rocked the first year, kool people, but it went down hill after that. many people moved onto bigger and better rooms, the ones in my building were on the small side for 2 people. it i liked it... it was close to campus, at the bottom of the hill, and about 100 ft from the DC (aka: dining hall)... it was also next to one of the most beautiful and mosde unknown parts of campus, Durfee Conservatory, and also Health Services was right there. the majority of the people in my building, the drug free floor excluded, all smoked pot... the building had a stench of stale pot... i think i was one of the few people in my dorm aside from those on the fourth floor who didn't smoke.. lol..

so anyway, this is the latest attempt by the university to curb binge drinking, and the drinking of minors....

January 26, 2006

Dear Student:

I want to announce some important changes to the University of
Massachusetts Amherst residence hall alcohol policies (Code of Student
Conduct, II.D). These changes, recommended by the Student Affairs
Judicial Issues Committee (SAJIC) which is comprised of students, staff,
and faculty, were subsequently approved by campus officials and are
intended to positively influence the living-learning environment in the
residence halls. The following changes are effective for the Spring 2006

*_Alcohol ­ Large gatherings_*

Due to the potential for noise violations and illegal alcohol
consumption, large gatherings are prohibited in the residence halls. A
group of more than 10 people in a residence room in which alcohol is
present (regardless of room size) will be considered a large gathering.
Progressive large gatherings (i.e. round robins) and/or any gatherings
that spill out into a common space are prohibited and may be viewed as a
violation of the alcohol policy.

*_Alcohol - Alcohol paraphernalia_*

The possession and/or use of drinking paraphernalia or products that
promote the abuse of alcohol and/or put the user in a position to
consume alcohol irresponsibly is prohibited. This includes but is not
limited to funnels, taps, and beirut/beer pong tables.

*_Alcohol ­ Drinking games_*

Creating, offering, and/or engaging in drinking games or other behaviors
designed for the purpose of rapid and/or excessive consumption is
prohibited. At no time should activities which encourage excessive
drinking and/or lead to the endangerment of the individual served take
place in the residence halls.

*_Alcohol ­ Large volume_*

The amount of alcohol which a student may possess and/or store is
limited to twelve (12 oz) bottles/cans of beer, two (750 mL) bottles of
wine, or one bottle of hard liquor (1L). This applies to each resident
in a room who is 21 or older. Other quantity-dispensing containers,
including but not limited to kegs and beer balls, are prohibited in all
areas of the residence halls.

*_Alcohol ­Empty containers_*__

Possession of empty alcohol containers (i.e liquor bottles, wine
bottles, and/or beer cans) is prohibited in residence halls by students
who are under 21 and may be viewed as evidence of possession and/or
consumption of alcohol. In addition, students are not allowed to use
alcohol containers, whether full or empty, as decorations within their
residence hall room.

*_ _*

*_Intoxication and Good Samaritan Protocol_*

Intoxication, defined as being under the influence of alcohol or any
other psychoactive drug to any extent which requires the attention of
University staff or which causes a disturbance or is a danger to persons
or property is prohibited. You may be reluctant to seek medical help for
an individual experiencing severe intoxication or a serious injury after
consuming alcohol. However, it is imperative that you call for medical
assistance since these emergencies are potentially life threatening.
UMass Amherst has developed the Good Samaritan Protocol to ensure that
the health and safety of all community members remains our first priority.

Sincerely yours,

Jo-Anne T. Vanin
Dean of Students

*now what's the fun of going to college if you can't have parties, with drinking games and paraphrenalia.. lol..


  1. UMass is so bad. That's all everyone does down there is play drinking games. I'm glad I didn't go there when I was of that age. I would have killed myself funnel drinking.

  2. You are not allowed to use and empty bottles as room decorations, and even if you've been drinking, and need to seek medical attention for someone who has excessively drunk, you are required to call for help? Seems pretty stiff on the rules there.

    Most people who have been drinking would be reluctant to turn themselves in while seeking medical attention for someone else.

    And, shoot, using wine bottles as flower vases... guess that's out too. I still collect fancy, odd bottles occasionally, but that would be a taboo as well.

  3. It's just so far under what's been goin on there it's pretty drastic! I suppose it also means all rockin'parties will now take place in residences off campus, like where you used to have the apartment...!

    I guess the pot's OK then? The logical alternative! Pretty sad...
    Watching one game of Pong was enough for me (not at college).